K, so pretend I'm choking you.  You probably have before... you probably have this weird dominatrix fetish.  Psycho.  So I'm choking you, and you are turning blue right?  Because, that's what color most people turn when they have lack of air.  Now ponder this... smurfs are blue.  So when you choke them, what color do they turn? Certainly not blue, they already are blue.  And why do they have to be blue in the first place?  Wait... reverse that, why do we have to be white?  Why not some other colors, what's so special about white..?  Whoa, and what's so special about the Iguana that gives them the power to change colors to blend in with their surroundings?  I thought we were the most powerful species.  Why don't we get to blend in?

Oh, on the topic of anatomy... have you ever thought about how the Pillsbury Doughboy has no crotch?  Poor little guy.  At least it makes sense why there is only one Pillsbury Doughboy.

Let's talk about Bowling. I hate bowlers. I mean competitive bowlers. They don't have to be good, but as long as they are competitive, I hate them.  When I bowl, I am competitive, but I know what I don't like so I don't do it.  Here's what I don't like:

So you've got a bowler that thinks there good, right?  Well I hate it when they know they are doing good... inside they are shouting for joy.  But they want to seem cool, so when they get a strike, it looks as if it doesn't faze them.  Or even worse, they get a strike, and they walk back from rolling the ball looking disappointed, like they didn't get the strike how they wanted to (certain ball spin?).  Inside though, they are happy.  They just want people to think they are better then they are, because if they are doing well and they act like they are not happy with their performance, people are going to think they are having a bad bowl.   They don't fool me.  Some people are obvious at this too.  Like, after they get a lot of pins down, they walk back... ya' know, talk to themselves like they are doing so bad... but they peak around to see who saw them bowl.  Not an embarrassed look around.  An "I hope you saw that" kinda' look around.  You all know what I'm talking about.  Maybe you do it.  If you do, stop now... because it's obvious what you're thinking.  If you don't do this, and you don't know what I'm talking about, just go to the bowling alley.  It's funny to watch.

Now on to bigger and better things.  Who on Zeus' name thought of making double-stuffed Oreos?  I hate them. The guy who first made Oreos probably spends a significant amount of time coming up with a good balance of cookie and cream to make the Oreo taste good.  Too thick of cookie or too thick of cream wouldn't taste good.  Then they come up with the double-stuffed Oreo.  And now the original Oreo guy is dead.  He can't defend his cookie! When you think about it, that's so cruel.  They have totally made a mockery of the Oreo cookie by making the cream overwhelm the cookie.  It's not a good balance at all.  This sort of thing makes me want to form my own militia. So for one thing, the double-stuffed Oreo doesn't taste good; it's not a good balance.  And for two, the Oreo guy is probably raving in Limbo for what the Oreo company has done to his cookie.  I would be.  It makes me wonder what people are going to do to my stuff when I die.

I'd like to say one last thing.  I wish people would stop being so cruel to the Canadians. It's not their fault that they have so many problems.  Be nice to them.